What if the Tea Baggers are right?

Now Let’s Do Away with Government as We Know it.



The “Tea Baggers” don’t want big government (all of a sudden). They loved "W" as he handed over whole departments of government to corporate interests and country club buddies to do as they will for eight years (as he sat with his crayons writing foreign policy).


Heck, "W" thought it is was perfectly okay that Enron (remember Kenneth Lay?) promoted electric transmission deregulation in California and then allowed them to create a shortage of power and then allowed them to rape the state economically to the tune of $30,000,000,000 by manipulating the cost of power. Incidentally, this dollar value is about the same as the state’s debt today. I guess that was free enterprise and therefore okay by Tea Bagger standards (as observed through a kaleidoscope).


It’s a darn good thing that Halliburton et al were there to help us in our great time of need. Given the rapid de-industrialization of America, Halliburton was able to leverage their vast foreign resources to provide war readiness materials. Congress actually passed laws preferring the purchase of foreign-made supplies (to save money by buying along the shipping lanes to the war). We appreciate their being good stewards of our money. Imagine what our national debt would have been had they not done that. Probably over a trillion dollars, huh?


We didn’t need the economy bolstered anyway. Sure, every war we’ve had resulted in a huge rebound in our economy, but that’s not what we needed this time.


Yes, everything that went on from 2000 to 2008 was perfect. The programs, laws, etc. that carried over into this administration are now all bad and reason to draw Hitler mustaches and overemphasize presidents middle names.


Perhaps they are right. We shouldn’t have “socialized” health care. We should also abandon Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare, and the hundreds of programs to help keep America healthy(er). While we’re at it, the CDC must go, so should the FDA, the USDA, and pretty much every government agency with similar acronyms. No more veteran’s benefits, free fire protection or public schools. Everyone should be required to shovel the snow in the street in front of their house because property taxes infringe on our property rights and snow plows won’t be purchased, maintained and operated by nonprofits. The gas tax should be abandoned and every street and highway should be a toll road.  That will shrink our government up adequately, won't it?


The billions in foreign aid –gone. For sure all of the farm subsidies (face it, there aren’t any more family farms, are there?), and all corporate welfare -gone. All of the laws passed to ensure monopolistic corporations wouldn’t be threatened by upstart innovators – repealed. The USDA guidelines for school lunches scewed to ensure kids get fat (and high on sugar, hormones, food coloring, the whole lower half of the Periodic Table, and MSG) on the foods provided by industries with the best lobbyists will now be modified to conform to actual scientifically based recipes – but none will be free for anyone anymore.


The hundreds of parts now included in cars due to laws passed “for our safety” at the request of the companies that make them will no longer be needed. CART standards gone too.  HUngry?   Too bad say the Tea Baggers.


No more tax dollars for anything ever. Politicians should be volunteer and only used to resolve issues between states or governments. Even better, appoint members of Congress like we do juries, send them a notice that they have to appear for two weeks of congressional duty in case we need them.


In fact, if we ever go to war again, we fund it (only) with the plunder seized (that will pretty much take care of the desire for nukes too).  Of course that will require us to be at war on a more regular basis, but Tea Baggers like that.

Now that we've solved all of the problems presented by the bleating sheep that make up the Tea Baggers, what then will they have to complain about to draw attantion to themselves? 

What will Carribou Barbie do for a living?

Without all that "socialistic" and "communistic" goverment to fear, how will the global banks and corporations that run the party of fear and arrogance do to control the plebeians?